Slow software awards

I nominate

Adobe reader 8 and

IE 8

 

Both have done wonderfully well to reduce our lives to blinking at the monitor, waiting for them to load .

 

Bevede Zameen Par

Main Kabhi Batlata Nahin
Bar main daily jaata Hoon Main Maa ...
Yun To Main,Dikhlata Nahin
Daru peekar roz aata hun Main Maa ....
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Hain Na Maa...
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa...

Theke pe Yun Na Chhoro Mujhe ,
Ghar Laut Ke Bhi Aa Naa Paoon Main Maa...
Paua lene Bhej Na Itna Door Mujko Tu,
Ghar bhi bhool jaun main Maa...
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main Maa...
Kya Itna Bura Hoon Main...Meri Maa..

Scotch main ,itna peeta nahi,
Peg Se Seham Jaata Hoon Main Maa
Chehre Pe Aane Deta Nahin
Lekin kabhi ludak jaata Hoon Main Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata...Hai Naa Maa
Tujhe Sab Hai Pata, Meri Maa ...

 

Some one said fish

The Japanese have always loved fresh fish. But the waters close to Japan have not held many fish for decades. So to feed the Japanese population, fishing boats got bigger and went farther than ever.

 

The farther the fishermen went, the longer it took to bring in the fish. If the return trip took more than a few days, the fish were not fresh.

The Japanese did not like the taste.

 

To solve this problem, fishing companies installed freezers on their boats.

 

They would catch the fish and freeze them at sea. Freezers allowed the boats to go farther and stay longer. However, the Japanese could taste the difference between fresh and frozen and they did not like frozen fish.

 

The frozen fish brought a lower price. So fishing companies installed fish tanks. They would catch the fish and stuff them in the tanks, fin to fin. After a little thrashing around, the fish stopped moving. They were tired and dull, but alive. Unfortunately, the Japanese could still taste the difference. Because the fish did not move for days, they lost their fresh-fish taste. The Japanese preferred the lively taste of fresh fish, not sluggish fish.

 

So how did Japanese fishing companies solve this problem? How do they get fresh-tasting fish to Japan ? If you were consulting the fish industry, what would you recommend?

 

How Japanese Fish Stay Fresh?

 

To keep the fish tasting fresh, the Japanese fishing companies still put the fish in the tanks. But now they add a small shark to each tank. The shark eats a few fish, but most of the fish arrive in a very lively state. The fish are challenged.

 

Have you realized that some of us are also living in a pond but most of the time tired & dull, so we need a Shark in our life to keep us awake and moving? Basically in our lives Sharks are new challenges to keep us active and taste better...

 

The more intelligent, persistent and competent you are, the more you enjoy a challenge.

 

If your challenges are the correct size, and if you are steadily conquering those challenges, you are Conqueror. You think of your challenges and get energized. You are excited to try new solutions.

 

One good one

It was autumn, and the Red Indians on the remote reservation asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared.

But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more Wood.

A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.”The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"Absolutely", the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever."

"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.

The weatherman replied, "The Red Indians are collecting wood like Crazy."

This is how stock markets work!!!

 

Ban Back again

Ban , was at his best the other, day ,

I have been writing about for quite sometime , Now after the Bangalore, And Ahmedabad Blasts that rocked india this weekend, he believes that if ever the terrorists are to be tamed down, they might have to be given a job and the best job in offer will be that of the poor software engineers, under a American management full of Indians again,

 

I am seriously starting to consider that yes, people or the terrorist mastermind who can actually make people die over the justification that after death things will be nice, can do anything with that team in software.

 

They can tell,

“If you do this and this, and suffer in the process, nightouts here and there, work over the weekends, 5 times a day you give me reports, and if you also bring other people in the process , you will be rewarded some time in future”

 

Don’t you think people who can motivate others to die can do wonders in the industry ?

Wow, we already have too many boys from South India in the industry who will spend day and night in office, since they usually don’t have anything else in life to do .They will have a tough fight from this surrendered Jihadis in the software industry,

 

 

Ban rocks

Travails of Indian Software Engineer

Well,

If you think you are a software engineer by working in a head count company that believes in hiring coochies to get some of the real software engineers to marry within the company, I am not talking about you .

 

 I am talking about those software  engineers who think they are doing great in life by having enough to spend on a Cappuccino in a Barista or CCD everyday ,

They think that any restaurant in the city to be  there area of expertise and that they are going to get the best girl in town since, they are young, earn well, and somewhat jazzy ( because the Tshirt is of Reebok, the pants from Levis and they have Pulsar 180 )

 

You know what they got iPods too. Wow, shrieks one girl and the HTC touch comes out from his pocket. This Bhattacharjee knows his way in most of the airports in the country, knows how to behave in a smart café and pays his bills always.

 

This Bhaskaran also saves a lot , and just like his friend Subbu, has invested in the smart Blue chips. The next cubicle Satish is going to buy a 1000 sq ft flat soon . Satish is senior though, he has worked abroad for a few months. But he was working in those  coochie  coo companies, that hire for… ( read the first line )

 

There is one girl in this whole floor, who in her outlook calendar has marked days on which to go out with whom. Her friends always wondered how could she  always save so much, She always travelled by flight. I mean “ Who travels in flight now yaa !! “

 

“They should get  super fast trains man”, shouts Chatterjee, being in Bangalore, it take 36 hours to Kolkata, and since most of them actually stay away from Kolkata, like Siliguri, or Asansol, or Jalpaiguri, they have to travel even further. They all want the fast trains. The guy from Chennai is very happy with his 5 -6 hours drop home.

 

Mr Biswas, has been in the industry for long and has now started to resemble a government job employee . More so because his work has increased with salary. With management job he is now looking like a poor man with no time for family. New comer assholes who don’t have any aspiration in life other than reaching office early in the morning and leave late in the night will make his life difficult.  His American management which is again made up of Indians will drill him in and out everyday.

He wakes up early in the morning after his so called American Indian bosses had kept a late night meeting for him.Mostly his kids wake him up since they want to go to school, since there is nothing to do at home with no gardens or parks to play and the electricity in Bangalore is cut all day. It is getting used in other important places like the CMs residence.  He takes them to school after suffering the road traffic. They have long stopped marketing for vegetables in the mornings everyday . They have bought a huge refrigerator where they can store vegetables for a month , that they buy from foodworld. He comes to office loaded with work and leaves office with double the load. His wife is seriously contemplating marrying again, at least an affair .

 

Mr Gupta, who is among the few Banyas here, believes in smart life, he wants to hop and hop and hop like a rabbit throughout his life. He believes in going to the competition for double salary,

 

That just raises his standard, he believes only in great salaries and nothing else. He believes that he will hop all his life. He calculated the number of companies he wants to be in in his lifetime. He finds life short in that he would not have seen enough if he hops every two years for the next 30 years of his life, having only seen 25 odd companies.

 

He is really sad about it!

 

The two Reddys are contemplating the dowry they want, since one of them has gone to US once ,he was raising his dowry by 50 lakhs , The other Reddy did not look happy about it,

 

Though they don’t talk with the other Reddy in office, who believes in buying another Skoda , a purple one , since he is tired to bringing one of the two Skodas he already has ( the golden one we call Scaramanga and the one we call Cowdung <you know why> ). His father has some buildings in Hyderabad which he rents out at 19 k each . He is giving a discount of 1 k since there is no proper water supply for the building.

 

The Deswal of our office, a big hunk , believes that all girls are swooning upon him all the time and dresses for a fancy dress competition. His friends from Haryana have a huge concern for the elongation of virgin days.

 

The other Chatterjee in our office, who chattered all the way through his “Larki dekhing ceremony” has lost his last chance of marrying this year, since he has exhausted his leaves . All of them were spent hurrying home to see a girl , who he thinks should look like Cameron Diaz in The Mask and the body of Heidi Klum but should be waiting for him at home all day. Should get him home finally to a clean bathroom and a tidy kitchen.

 

The girl on the other hand was expecting a man much younger, and just like Om Kapoor in Dard e Disco . A 12 pack and not a 6 pack will do anymore, since there are many software engineers that come every other day to see her. Her aunty in United States  has also been talking about some cardiologist in New York, who is handsome and looks like a foreigner ( who will tell her that, he is Indian only by parents ).

 

This time it seems the girl was specific about his onsite opportunities, and it was difficult for Chatterjee to explain how his holistic approach to life keeps him in India . How his work is of the tougher nature and that it involves better career opportunities in future.

 

Joseph the smart Mallu is very happy with life, he gets to go home as soon as possible and there awaits his girlfriend who is soon going to be in Bangalore to study. That will be one hell of a life , he is happy with job, and soon of his friends in New Zealand will sponsor him and tata he will say to our manager and leave India for ever with his girlfriend. He has too many brothers and their parents will be taken care of.

 

Mr De and Mr Mukherjee are talking about the sad state of affairs of Kolkata, half the day they spend on how to get Kolkata developed, They really are in to development and not testing I say.

 

Mr Bhadreswaran is tired of seeing his friends going abroad on onsite opportunities and also his CTC, he thinks he deserves to save more and that the guys he used to teach maths in school and college are now abroad earning and saving and coming back to India to show off, whereas he could not afford one nights stay in a five star within India.

He has started to preach philosophy nowadays. He cannot leave this job since he believes that staying in one place will land you a better package and a lot of experience. He has started to know each and every square inch of the office carpet. Even the security guys have all changed since his arrival. The other day one security guy stopped him and asked for his id card and boy that was one scene that we all will remember .

 

Finally, there are some software engineers who are in the IT department, who think boozing everyday makes them cool, and they know all the pubs in the town and they come and tell us of the horrors of all these pubs which have become gay hangouts since no girls visit those, and how the one where no stags allowed make them feel like stray dogs.

These guys think that there lives are pretty happening and we all yearn for them to include us once in a while, “Sorry not yappening, there is not just time for it all. “

 

 

The sad story of the Indian Softie

There are so many ongoing things in the Indian cultural setup that it is too difficult to put just on picture up. This is the year 2008. We have just been hit by the fact that a growing nation if not planned at the top level will soon tumble on its own growth demands.

India is growing, yes, there is a visible feeling all across. There are people coming to India to witness this. There are so many second tier towns growing up to become full fledged cities. There are too many Indians who have been abroad for at least once in their lives. A young crowd that starts slowly antagonizing itself with the fact that India has a lot to go . This young crowd goes abroad and realizes that a developed country is developed in terms of so many things.  It is not only a bunch of concrete structures, the country side, the small town ships , the so called villages.  They really do look like what they show on television. The movies will be always  shot there in this lifetime of ours

 

I am 25 and I am just not able to cope up with the fact that being an Indian I am just supposed to suffer.  I know I am supposed to be patriotic and give India time, but for how long, it is like languishing and expecting my lawyer to have some time for me to fight my  case rather than the rich.

 

I am 25 , I have done good in life in terms of academia , and also , somewhat prosperous than my other friends with whom I started with from a school in a small town in India. I was increasingly told about the smart town kids and metros. How being a small town guy , you are supposed to fight it out throughout your lives.

Now I have grown up to be as good as any big town guy, but in the process I had to go through so many years of hard work in school , ( the physics that will never do me any good, the integration and derivation will never feed me , )  , those years in college, where we did nothing, why , the education system is something I will never be proud of. Once upon a time a village only saw the best student turn out to be a  master . The village school master , as we called it. Today, times have changed . Students who don’t get any job in some American company , or some high flying MNC, or at least a meager job somewhere in a small town will end up becoming a lecturer.

 

I have even seen some guys ending up teaching only to be in touch with the girls they cannot meet in work places.  They seriously believe that a teachers job makes you a Casanova.

 

I am 25 and I am supposed to still believe in the strength of good character and patience and give life a chance. I already see that I am far from teenage and that the golden days will never come. Being a good student you are supposed to never enjoy life. I have slowly started to believe that the country has some ideological differences setup by the current moral beliefs. “A child to be fed by his parents “

 

Many parents will either spend all their living on a child expecting him or her to grow up fast and give them what they missed. That way some of them end up being frustrated with lives seeing their child not living up to their expectations . Some who will make out one moderate success will kill that childs youth trying to do for his other siblings. 
The society with dowry system to give away for the daughter, makes this childs life even more difficult. They end up frustrated with their own lives.

 

When I was in college I believed that everything is possible, yes now I know the meaning of the statement, “ Everything is possible “. No it is not, it is just not supposed to be so .

If I were to start I could end up writing hours and pages about what I believe the truth is. I may come tomorrow to this page , and pat my own back as to how much more enlightened I was right at this age. At 25 I am just not happy with whatever is going on.

 

Many parents on the other hand will earn all their lives sacrificing their  own youth and then expecting their children to have as much fun as it is possible. These are the spoiled kids. Not all rich children will act the same it is but those parents who themselves did not know that things could go out of control if let loose since all they knew as bitter hard work and putting their heads stuffed with work and money making that they forgot to notice how the world works.

 

Parents should take care till some age and leave it to their children. It is paying off for our country since many parents will make it a point to send their son money till he is done with his Phd. Though many don’t do it in India any more, they  go abroad.

 

We fill the American universities , but why, are many of us that passionate about studies, no but just  to get admission to that country. It is not the PhD we are after it is the Green Card.  Many of us don’t believe that 15 August 1947 was the independence day , but it is the day we enter America to be independence day,

 

All we want in our lives to reach that nation. Today , many will not say an yes to me . Why ? The person reading this article must be some one of the intellectual class and has been able to make somewhat decent living and believes that by not going to America, you are showing you patriotism.

Well, I say , that we are not doing any good to this nation by staying back, For so many years, the exodus was all that mattered to this nation. Every body looked up to it and thus people went abroad, especially to America. The ones that could not, went everywhere else. Some went to Europe, and some to Australia.

 

Many are there in England. Trust me, they are even there in some island that you can blindly point out in the Pacific. We poor guys, we will even go to Afghanistan to work. Why ?

 

Because there are no opportunities here! And we don’t play fair. One MNC in Kolkata allows the richs mans son to do his internship leaving the good applications away, One College in Bangalore will allow the local politicians nephew to be a lecturer. And lets not talk about the other gashes caused in the last few years.

 

Why me? Is one question many ask. Well there is no better answer than Karma of the Hindi beliefs and yes, I have tried to search for another, Nothing else did sound as logical like Karma.

 

But it is not the question of Why me? It is the question of Why my nation ?

Why it is India, that is such a dump hole of problems.

 

There has to be a smart solution to this all. Reaching office itself is such a tiring thing in India, how do expect some one to go and work there. Long time back when I was a child I had seen one such program on DD. One man whose wife was in labor had to drop everything and get his job done so that his senior could attend on party. The child was born still, and he was fired for not having done his job properly.

 

That was the kind of slavery the Indians have gone through in the previous generation. I am happy when In compare my situation today  , but there is one thing that makes me feel sad that, though we all are in the positive mood most of the time about the coming days,

We are just a one billion strong bunch of optimists who will be let down. Whether it is development, whether it is growth, whether it is sports, whether it is technology,

 

Sorry, I just cannot accept it. You cannot chose a mother do you and once you are born to India it becomes your mother land, that is one sentence that you have serve, that is it!

 

 

How does this country grow, how can somebody like me who is all set to make some changes start , and be sure that he will not be let down by the system. I know, I that I am not supposed to blame the system. You should get into it, make sacrifices. Blah blah,

 

Make sacrifices, why me?  For that you need to be like Hanuman, no wives, no kids, and no worries for your parents.  For sacrifices, you need to be like Howard Roark from Fountainhead. You need to be free from worries and then you can do great . That is what I strongly believe. Somebody with responsibilities just cannot.

There was this political party started by the IITian in Chennai , Why do you think they broke up ?

 

Politics plays with dirty money. They can play in 100s of crores, the kind of money that could give you a good life in any of the major holiday spots of the world. That is the truth , the blatant truth is money can buy anything,

Yes, I have not been able to enjoy a decent holiday in the last 3 years of my working life and with rising inflation and the country not delivering value of money concepts, I am slowly growing to the notion that in this life itself if I have to do more , see more, the either you got to be a genious, which I am not, seeing back at my track record.

 

I am a bit classier mediocre, who know what can be done with genious but myself I am not that . I am just  a simpleton who ended up getting a software job never to make anything from it. I know that there will be money when I retire since I am putting so and so in life insurances,

 

That being a good job holder I will end up marrying some body better than average looking  due to the social network of this country. I know that all these happen step by step and that I will have a kid someday,

Will have to pay donation for this school admissions, and most probably send him for GRE by the time he grows up.

And then finally shift to the flat that I would have made outside of the town in a small place to end up going jogging everyday morning, to exercise my aging body. Yes, that is the price of being a bit par average.

I am par average because I can think this way, I understand the spark of merit. If I were average I would have enjoyed the thought of the life written above. And I am not a genius because I really am not spending my time doing something great but write this story of the sad Software Engineer.

One more funny guy

His blogs are a bit on the problems and fun associated with peoples fear of being termed racial

 

http://nemesing.blogspot.com/2008/07/orwell-was-correct-about-everyting.html

 

Try this for a change from the funny blogs of our times

Jokes for the day

What do you call a letter written by the great Khali ?

 

Khaligraphy

 

 

 

 

What is Khalis is favourite food

 

Khali flower dey parathey

 

 

Ban Ultimatum

After having thought for a long time, we reached a conclusion that yes, Ban is the new age thinker. The new revelation of this age,

 

He watched Dashavatar very minutely and with a lot of passion put behind. He now believes in the fact that yes, for a man like Rama to win any war he needs people like Hanuman , basically a man without any connection with his own family  , a perfect bachelor devoted to your service so that you can enjoy your life peacefully.

 

That is one thing that will happen over the ages , and it is still happening, look at countries like America, they need to have a country like India or a country like China. Yes, major towns in both these nations have reached a certain amount of world class touch to them and have some very costly places to live at, but the whole country still dreams the great America dream. They feel languished in this prison called India, given the first chance they will flee this nation. This looks like a sentence put on us for the past lives crimes.

How on earth will you explain to the Indian youth who watches a serial like Friends , or going back to the 60’s the portrayal of the average American middles class through serials like “I dream of Genie”, “Different Strokes”, Fresh Prince of Bel Air” ( I mean a bunch of them )  ,How will you explain to the Indian youth that they are enjoying a good quality of life.

 

Nope, we live in a state where we don’t know, whether staying back in this country is out of love or just accepting a second mother land. Well, for most Indians , all they want to do is live the American dream whether it is in this country or that, Our ideas, our lifestyles, our attitudes have been at the mercy of that nation that sits there in the western side of the hemisphere  providing the best for its average citizen.

 

Yesterday we went to this place called ITPL, which is some where on the outskirts of Bangalore. One thing I have noticed is as far as the private constructions go, there is a lot of development, but if one were to look at the condition of the roads out there, they are very badly planned and not under proper maintenance.

 

I don’t believe it, if you complain that the older towns have so crooked infrastructure and town planning that it is not possible to lay new roads, that is acceptable to an extent but if you are putting no attention to the new roads getting created, you are doing a crime for the future generations.

The government is willing to say only one thing

“See, we not only neglect the villages, we also do it with the towns”

That keeps their votes banks happy.

 

Indian Politicians have reached the pinnacle of politics, Now development, planning, strategizing against another country and self motivation are not part of their jobs ,they only know one thing and that is politics. Oppositions only job is to oppose no matter whether there is any good out of the policy, and the one in power has only one job to subdue them.

They have become the perfect politicians who only deal with politics

Ban Supremacy

I know I cannot exhaust the Ban series by Bourne names. Actually, Robert Ludlum did not write any more Bourne issues after Ultimatum. He died .

It was Eric Van Lustbader who continued the legacy , he even named it legacy. Let me see, where I can take my Ban. Well, Bans latest includes a lot of stuff, over the weekend he came with this cool idea that he should pursue management only to enter the HRs of big companies which cannot run well due to attrition. He plans to provide them with quarters just like Government offices. You know of this place called the SBI quarters, The AG quarters. There are so many of them.
He went to see his friend in IIT Madras, which has not yet changed its name.Thank you IIT.

Well, Ban says that the students loved the campus and he too was impressed by it and when they enter the jobs, they find it difficult to imagine a future where there is no greenery. He says that the grass on the other side will always look greener since there is no grass on this side.

That was a strong statement of Banalism. He is simply great. Well, he also fretted over the fact that our children will be called the children of concrete , all their small falls will be on conrete, there pains more deeper and the wounds indelible.

So much for a good job. He also came up with this idea that soon he will be able to open up a restaurant that will be clean but no ambience , that will keep the people coming for sure. According to him it is the external show that actually intimidates people. In between 2000-2005, software engineers were actually earning more compared to the the rate of infaltion and before the devaluation of money ( or Rupee ) to what it is now and they were eating out more often . But now with terrible times ahead us, we are not in the mood for any, so Ban thinks that times are ripe for him to come up with the ideas for a restaurant.
Actually most restaurants in Bangalore do come up with this theme in mind. Small, simple and comparable prices.

Today we ate in one , called Sethji , some where closr to Domlur, quite interior but cosy good, and cheap place.

Ban ended the day in Sethji on starting motor bike lift service from Airports. which would charge the customers less and for people with faster needs and less luggage, I think this business would flourish, though we did not have the energy to counter argue anything here, he won the field comprehensively.

Why men are what we are today

Why the men of today have to excel in everything to get to be his darlings best. Why is that the most faithful of all , the Indian girl , is now having hard time convincing her hubby that she is faithful to him. Why is it that we are in constant fear of a neighbor or  a helping class mate .

 

The problem lies in our earlier generation, they wanted boys boys and boys. Now there are only boys and boys and boys everywhere you go.

If the plight of the average good student in India were to be looked at , you will find that beauty and brain does not go together is something they have accepted long back. They have tied it to their dreams, hopes and logic.

 

So they accept it that they will not meet their beauties in school and then in college. In an expectation to meet that fairy , he keeps improving himself and without any  contact of the opposite sex reaches adulthood. He is not honed and polished for a girl yet . Now he enters jobs. With mounting family pressure as soon as he starts earning he has to forget everything and give up his own dreams, and works in a good place where again he never meets any  girls or if he does he comes to know the fact that no girl will marry somebody of her own stature, especially in India, so she will either be engaged or out of the league.

 

Now think of it, this guy who definitely considers himself superior since his family and relatives says so finally reaches a marriageable age. He is all high with expectations that it better be good , and marries some girl who finally has had a good youth and teenage and a nice one or two affairs and finally seeking some marriageable material, comes to the decision that it better be this average looking but hard working and if she has already considered US not a good place to settle.

 

Now this guy has to fight all prejudices and excel in everything , you know why?

That is the stage in India. We read a lot, we found out about the lifestyles of human beings like us, we keep watching them on TV, we read daily, and we come to the conclusion that better  life is not for us. We the youth in India are to be the exploited class unless we are born with a silver spoon. Our parents were not able to afford a good living for us, good looks don’t come to us naturally, good education is sometimes taken at the parents compromises.

 

Don’t give me examples for people who have done well from average families, that is the worst possible logic ever. Bedtime stories and inspirations don’t come from miracles. The average mans life has to get a boost. He does not earn money to get a fair and lovely and look good. He is not in a state to take care of himself at all and all he expects is in the end on girl to be his sole companion. Now there is a dearth of them and he comes to believe that whatever goes.

 

No! that is one mistake . Marriage for the sake of it and that to whatever comes is one self immolation act that many men in India do. Women who expect too much from them and who whine and complain and compare only because there are hundreds of options available to them is what Indian men have to face today. Dating is still a fantasy in India and it will run around like this till my son in young.

 

 

I know, one might say that it is just a single mans frustrations. Do you think what I am saying is my personal view. If you are  a guy you would have agreed upon this a hundred times over on what I said and if you are girl you need to ask somebody with honesty.

Senior people in Software now in Jail

Software people are not only eating jobs in US, they are eating the criminals share too.

Some techies are not nabbed for having extorted money from people using techie stuff which they learned from Hollywood movies.

We are not inspired by Holly wood when it comes to bollywood movies, but even in crime.

 

See !! if you put too much technical funda in a movie . Hindi movies will show you a lot of crime, murder, cheating, gore , what ever you want, but they will never show you the means. If you are not an Indian or do not know of Hindi movies, let me tell you a fact. For a long time, whenever the hero and heroine had to do some scene in which the distance between the two were to reduce to negative lenghts, you wont believe they would outsource it to two flowers touching each other, or two birds doing the coochycoo act.

And that kept me wondering for a long time until ofcourse it was a well made english movie of the azure kind that completely came to my rescue.

 

Now, hollywood movies put too much research on whatever they do. Movies like Shawshank redemption completely  removes all chances of a convict escaping any more. Shit. Now these techies are in for asking for money which Software jobs no longer provide. With super smart engineers all around the place and super duper HR to find out what it takes to get more done with less input , it is difficult for the software engineer of today .

With no chance of ghoos, these softies took the hard way , and an ability to wield hardware like knives and stuff like that, they started extorting money. I could also tell you of other crimes that are waiting to  happen if this mass frustration is not soothed soon.

Funny, stuff

I wrote two puzzles blogs with google interview questions and Blogger did not publish them , So one more thing interesting about these guys.

 

You cannot put questions related to goole interviews in the bloggers, now if  you are able to read this , hats off to google to find out an way to block ones with questions J

Some body thought that this was a good joke

Today morning I opened my inbox to see  this piece. Good joke on the sender.

He definitely thinks that it is one of those world class jokes.

Bhago KK aya type

 

Ek Ameer Ladki ko School me Garib Parivar pe Essay Likhne ko Kaha Gya.

ssEssay me usne Likha:

Ek Garib Parivar tha, Pita Garib, Maa Garib, Bache Garib. Parivar me4 Naukr the, wo bhi Gareeb. Car bi Tutti Hui SAFARI thi.Unka Garib Driver Bachon ko Tutti Car me School Chhod K Aata tha. Bachon K paas Purane N95 Mobile the. Bache Hafte me 3 bar Hi Chicken Khate the. Ghar me 4 Hi 2nd Hand A.C. The. Sara Parivar Badi Mushkil se Aish Kar raha tha.

 

Keep smiling... J

 

Some of the funniest blogs

 I am surprised to see less blogs and more content in these ones.

Read this one for a change

http://menopausaloldbag.blogspot.com/

 

 

Not many readers but the blog is good. Also this one

http://chickanuts.blogspot.com/

 

These are the kind of blogs that get so many hits. If these guys can go the best  in their league voteouts why not your blog.

 

10 things to do when stuck in the Begumpet flyover

I have been thinking about this for a long time. Given that people have changed lifestyles depending on the time at which they cross the Begumpet flyover I believe that Indians are great in adapting.

Somebody said cockroaches will survive anywhere , it applies to Indians as well. For so many years Indians have survived abroad without any social activity to start with. They were looked down upon in the western countries but so pathetic was the troubles in house that they preferred it abroad. Man is a social animal . Somebody said that ( kisi ney to kaha hoga: courtesy "U me aur Hum" )


Well, When Ramayana used to be televised they said that it was traffic stopper . People planned their weeks to land up on time to watch Ramayana. Wow, then it seems Begumpet flyover has the same effect on us. I myself being a late riser had a different plan for the day . I happily come to work by 10 nowadays. Thank you Begumpet flyover.

But the main point here is that "what to do when stuck in the Begumpet flyover"

Here are 10 top things that one can do while stuck at the Begumpet flyover

1. think about all the work that could have been over and done had the SOB flyover not been there.

2. Think about joining politics , frustrated at the way India works.

3. If luck is on your side, you may have some pretty face to look at. May be not ogle at her but glances once in a while could help your mood

4. Try bhrastika and kapalbhaanti , courtesy Baba Ramdev

5. I wrote couple of poems on my way today , Also thought up this blog. May be that definitely rings a bell in some of the minds out there

6. Watch the hoardings which says "Freeing prisioners since 2004" , wow, how ironic

7. Open your bag , arrange the stuff lying there for so long unattended. You might come across something that you were searching for a long time

8. carry a pocket size iron with you, take off your shirt, put it one the hot seat of your bike and iron it, if you like

9. Get down once in a while, do some stretching exercises.

10 . Try starting a fight, That will keep the people on the bridge entertained and finally for those who are spiritual can also , complete their Hanuman Chalisa , or their daily mantras on the bridge.


Well there is a 11th one. But you need to have a fat guy lurking behind. Punch him on his nose and then try some stunt to get off the bridge or race though the zillion plus bikes on the bridge. That will give you enough adrenaline rush to go to office and finish everything that you planned for the day.

Gabbar gets some

try this for a really good ad
http://youtube.com/watch?v=oIWxnfO7eJM&feature=related

There are others in the list too like the Simpu Singh one. I believe there is not enough material on television nowadays. On Tata Sky the channels like Bindass have become pay channels and I have to pay on top of 300 to view them.

Also the shows like Sun Yaar Chill Maar has lost its initial touch , The research for the show has come down and promotional ideas like getting one star per show was not working well.
Though the variations in the characters and strength of personality in Manoj Goel does help a bit but in the long run the dialogs have to be well chosen

Friends as a serial had a plot that suited the character cast so well that now when I go back to the seasons 1 and 2 I believe that the whole plot was pre materialized and the character of the serial did not change with people demands. This is something I really hate about aggression of average opinion in something artistic. Though Friends cannot be termed as something artistic per se. But definitely the team working behind it was superior to the ones that generate run of the mill work that has captured the middle class wives in India.

FIR is a good one , ony because of the never seen before Chandramukhi Chautala character. Unbelievable. One of the films recently ( one two three ) did steal this concept in their Haryanvi police inspector Mayawati Chautala , a role that could have been well played by some body else.

One more flight today

hi All,
This one is more like my daily journal and not a part of the lively blogs that I keep around.
I came Hyderabad today morning by this early morning ( not so early morning ) in Kolkata , flight Air Deccan .
For me I had to wake up as early as 4:45 in the morning and Kolkata was lit full by that time , Now I can figure out why it is scorching heat by 7:30 in the morning.Literally people are sweating by then .
I took a bath and hurriedly went in search of a Taxi and found one right opposite to the Jaya cinema hall. Once Punjabi driver not much different from there brothers in the other countries. Very sweet in nature , not much of a talker unless if they are old and very humble.

The Shamsabad airport in Hyderabad pretty much looks like one oasis in the middle of nowhere. You can see so much cleanliness all around. The vast ness does take its toll and we have to look around to believe things that we in India can enjoy world class facilities.

It all came to an end when I entered the Lavatory. There are two divisions in the lavatory for the gents. One is a pure unrinals with regular hand wash stuff. This has mirrors till the wash basin level,

The other is the WC ( I think for Western Commode ) though there are Indian style stuff too. The mirrors here are half visible , may be the reason being people may not want to see their full body in the mirror after they use the potty.

The conveyor belts are well managed and getting your stuff out of the belt is easier without extra friction. It is posh and clean all around. I went to the bus stop where it came pucntually within a few minutes and started noly when the bus was full. ( Although the time mentioned was 11:30 sharp ) . Business cannot take a few losses in India right at this moment.

I came to know about this company called abcindya.com. It is some kind of startup for online gaming community. People it seems are earning a lot of money eveyr month in this scheme. God knows how they promise to give you 160 times the amount you put in the end of a year. Well if it does I will happily take it. Have to think about it, whether or not to invest in it. Hundreds of people are currently investing , I have no particular idea whether it is the correct thing to do but if it does succeed I will come back to this blog and not feel guilty that I did not let anybody know about it.

About headaches and Television

Initially I thought I will do some research on the way the pain killers work and medical explanations for headaches. Now I feel that the blog need not do all that since all will sympathize with me that Indian media is far more concerned about the love affairs of the common man.

Can you imagine the head bosses of the News channels on TV might be wishing that there is another Nithari and there are more killings ?
That is obnoxious as a thought. There are many who have started to believe that that any thing can happen in India after Nithari ,
Nithari ( somehow in black humor does it not sound like "had Nisha Kothari started a IPO the stocks would listed against that name )

Well, when the typhoon Nargis hit Myanmar some of the news channel depserately tried to kill more people or bring in unaccounted fingures in anticipation that the numbers will rise and it will look like the next big news on tv.

When one of the commissioners dogs wetn missing I was praying to god that they find the dog and ask it

"How did the criminals treat you?"
"Did they torture you by any means "
"Aap jo ghar laut aaye hai , aap ko kaisa lag raha hai ?"

Seriously out of touch with decent conversation for a long time ( I mean the dog )

Well,
Media can do anything, they will peep into broken love affairs and murders committed out of that. They are age old crimes and as long as man is alive crimes related to love will keeo happening , no matter how many news channels come up and how many incidents about them are covedred on television when the smitten lover is at a loss he will strike back. The old family strifes are all there since the beginning of time,

No saas bahu serial can come near to the Mahabharat in terms of imagination. Human beings have not grown much in the last 5000 years. They are still the same old assholes that they were when they sat for a match of gambling to waste 13 years of their lives ( even to bet their once in five nights wife Draupadi ) .

What media fails to come out is show the people what they are standing upon really. Any type of negative news is welcome more than anything. They have started to show Jaadu tona .

What the hell, The next they can concoct is a love affair between Rakhi Sawant and Hrithik Roshan !!

Well,
things will change in the near future I believe , there is this show called MTV Wassup, Vani will feature in that ( The non nonsense Vani from Roadies 4 ) How I wished that she won . But in any case it did not matter for her and me either.

She said it plain and cool " If Zee news were to show some more of Khali 's daily drama , as like what does he wear when he goes to sleep, What does he eat when he is in US "

It is more like watching animal planet with the animal understudy is a new species "Big Mouth"
( the association being the Big Foot)

Today I will stop here. I am typing furiously, I have actually booked a ticket a Fame Cinema today at 2 'o clock in South City Mall,
I went to this mall yesterday evening ( 9th May 2008 ) , Seriously such an oddly placed mall. It resembles the way Hyatt look near to the slums. The foreign delegates are immediately bought to terms with the living conditions of the poor in India,

BBC being another of those new channels which has a huge archive of footages about the poor in India. Ask them about what happened after Balraj Sahni left his post as an anchor in BBC they have no idea. I think they only know about the fact that 50% of the children in India below 5 hav e no proper medical care.

Care is a thing we cannot afford to . We are still on our way to make a nation. We cannot rest now