Jokes

Ladkiyan apna dupatta ladke k samne aane k baad hi kyon theek karti
hain?
Luteron ko dekh kar hi Daulat ki hifazat ka khayal Aata hai!



*  Ek Church k gate pe likha tha: Jo paap kar k thak gaye wo meri
sharan me aaye.
Ek callgirl ne niche apna mob no likh diya: Jo nahi thake wo meri sharan
me aaye.



*  Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several
women happy!



*  Teacher class mein apne baby ko doodh pilate hue boli: Ale ale mela
beta dudh p k doctor banega.
Santa: Mam! Thoda hame bhi pila do hum compounder hi ban jaayenge.



*  How do u identify a true music lover?
A man when he hears a woman singing in the bathroom and puts his ear to
the keyhole instead of his eye!



*  Buffalo par baithe ek jaat koTRAFFIC police ne rok k puchha: Aap ka
helmet kahan hai? Fine lagega.
Jaat: Re baawale, dhayan se dekh Neeche, 4 wheeler hai !



*  Aunty, mummy ne chini mangi hai.
Aunty: Aacha aur kia kaha mummy nay?
Kid: Agar woh kamini na de, to Pinki aunty se lay aana.



*  Height of Kanjusi: Looking for a second Hand Tata Nano
Car.......preferabl y with Gas Kit!!!


*  Grammar Teacher: Rahul sharaab Nahin Peeta Hai. Is sentence mein
Rahul kya hai?
Pappu: Madam! Rahul chutiya hai...



*  What's the biggest pressure for Pak captain when Pak needs 1 run to
win in 8 ovrs, with 5 wickets in hand?
Ya Allah! How to speak English in presentation ceremony?



*  Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga, ghar aaya
te kisi hor de nal suti si.
Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde!



*  10% of road accidents are due to drunken driving. Which makes it a
logical statement that 90% of accidentsarer due to driving without
drinking! Piyo Sar Utha Ke



*  Banta: How do you say Topless in Urdu?
Santa: KHULE AAM...



*  There are only 5 things we need in life: Good friends, Good job,
Good food, Good sleep & Good _ UCK. Whatever u are thinking... is right.


*  Young Malkin & Pappu Naukar were kidnapped & raped by robbers.
Malik to Naukar: Shakal Dekhi thi un logon ki?
Pappu Naukar: Bibi ji se pucho mujhe to ulta litaya hua tha!



*  Chandni raat thi, nadi ka kinara tha, asmaan me taro ka nazara tha,
Bihari premi ne pyar se muskarate hue Biharan premika se kaha: Ae Susma,
Bidi Piyegi ?



*  A cute Nurse came 4 the interview..
Dr: What salary U Xpect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it's 25,000



*  When things go wrong, when sadness fills your heart, when tears
flows from your eyes always say these words... Eh Ganpat, chal daru
la...



*  Lalu: Rabri, tum to hamara CHAND ho.
Rabri: Na ji hamka CHAND VAND mat kahiye, ye sasure America wale roj
Chand pe chadte utarte rahte hai.



*  Breaking News: Latest sponsor of the Indian Cricket Team: Whisper
Ultra.
BCCI felt it appropriate as the team is undergoing its worst PERIOD!



*  In order to get 100/100 in life, a man requires 100% talent, whereas
a woman requires only 4% talent & the remaining is only 36-24-36



*  Ladke wale ladki ka haath kab mangte hai????????? ??

  JAB LADKE KA HAATH THAK JATA HAI......... ......



*  Tumhari Girl friend ka sms mila hai kahti hai koi patthar se na
maare mere deewana ko twenty first century hai bomb se uda do saale ko.



*  Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!



*  An old rich man marries a young gal. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne
inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.



*  Food for thought: Why to suffer trying by all means to become rich
and wear expensive branded clothes, when most beautiful things in life
we do naked.



*  Teacher to class: A for?
Class: Apple
Teacher: Jor Se Bolo
Class: Jai Mata Di



*  Population slogan in Bihar: Hum Do Hamare Do, Unke Baad Jitne Bhi
Hon, Sabko MUMBAI bhej do



*  Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?



*  Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka
to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6"
ka hi hota hai.



*  In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r Nitrates
Gal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.



*  Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls' bathroom and
touch her anywhere she likes?
A: Lifebuoy.



*  A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around
ur knee..?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.