Sunday, July 27, 2008

Travails of Indian Software Engineer


If you think you are a software engineer by working in a head count company that believes in hiring coochies to get some of the real software engineers to marry within the company, I am not talking about you .


 I am talking about those software  engineers who think they are doing great in life by having enough to spend on a Cappuccino in a Barista or CCD everyday ,

They think that any restaurant in the city to be  there area of expertise and that they are going to get the best girl in town since, they are young, earn well, and somewhat jazzy ( because the Tshirt is of Reebok, the pants from Levis and they have Pulsar 180 )


You know what they got iPods too. Wow, shrieks one girl and the HTC touch comes out from his pocket. This Bhattacharjee knows his way in most of the airports in the country, knows how to behave in a smart café and pays his bills always.


This Bhaskaran also saves a lot , and just like his friend Subbu, has invested in the smart Blue chips. The next cubicle Satish is going to buy a 1000 sq ft flat soon . Satish is senior though, he has worked abroad for a few months. But he was working in those  coochie  coo companies, that hire for… ( read the first line )


There is one girl in this whole floor, who in her outlook calendar has marked days on which to go out with whom. Her friends always wondered how could she  always save so much, She always travelled by flight. I mean “ Who travels in flight now yaa !! “


“They should get  super fast trains man”, shouts Chatterjee, being in Bangalore, it take 36 hours to Kolkata, and since most of them actually stay away from Kolkata, like Siliguri, or Asansol, or Jalpaiguri, they have to travel even further. They all want the fast trains. The guy from Chennai is very happy with his 5 -6 hours drop home.


Mr Biswas, has been in the industry for long and has now started to resemble a government job employee . More so because his work has increased with salary. With management job he is now looking like a poor man with no time for family. New comer assholes who don’t have any aspiration in life other than reaching office early in the morning and leave late in the night will make his life difficult.  His American management which is again made up of Indians will drill him in and out everyday.

He wakes up early in the morning after his so called American Indian bosses had kept a late night meeting for him.Mostly his kids wake him up since they want to go to school, since there is nothing to do at home with no gardens or parks to play and the electricity in Bangalore is cut all day. It is getting used in other important places like the CMs residence.  He takes them to school after suffering the road traffic. They have long stopped marketing for vegetables in the mornings everyday . They have bought a huge refrigerator where they can store vegetables for a month , that they buy from foodworld. He comes to office loaded with work and leaves office with double the load. His wife is seriously contemplating marrying again, at least an affair .


Mr Gupta, who is among the few Banyas here, believes in smart life, he wants to hop and hop and hop like a rabbit throughout his life. He believes in going to the competition for double salary,


That just raises his standard, he believes only in great salaries and nothing else. He believes that he will hop all his life. He calculated the number of companies he wants to be in in his lifetime. He finds life short in that he would not have seen enough if he hops every two years for the next 30 years of his life, having only seen 25 odd companies.


He is really sad about it!


The two Reddys are contemplating the dowry they want, since one of them has gone to US once ,he was raising his dowry by 50 lakhs , The other Reddy did not look happy about it,


Though they don’t talk with the other Reddy in office, who believes in buying another Skoda , a purple one , since he is tired to bringing one of the two Skodas he already has ( the golden one we call Scaramanga and the one we call Cowdung <you know why> ). His father has some buildings in Hyderabad which he rents out at 19 k each . He is giving a discount of 1 k since there is no proper water supply for the building.


The Deswal of our office, a big hunk , believes that all girls are swooning upon him all the time and dresses for a fancy dress competition. His friends from Haryana have a huge concern for the elongation of virgin days.


The other Chatterjee in our office, who chattered all the way through his “Larki dekhing ceremony” has lost his last chance of marrying this year, since he has exhausted his leaves . All of them were spent hurrying home to see a girl , who he thinks should look like Cameron Diaz in The Mask and the body of Heidi Klum but should be waiting for him at home all day. Should get him home finally to a clean bathroom and a tidy kitchen.


The girl on the other hand was expecting a man much younger, and just like Om Kapoor in Dard e Disco . A 12 pack and not a 6 pack will do anymore, since there are many software engineers that come every other day to see her. Her aunty in United States  has also been talking about some cardiologist in New York, who is handsome and looks like a foreigner ( who will tell her that, he is Indian only by parents ).


This time it seems the girl was specific about his onsite opportunities, and it was difficult for Chatterjee to explain how his holistic approach to life keeps him in India . How his work is of the tougher nature and that it involves better career opportunities in future.


Joseph the smart Mallu is very happy with life, he gets to go home as soon as possible and there awaits his girlfriend who is soon going to be in Bangalore to study. That will be one hell of a life , he is happy with job, and soon of his friends in New Zealand will sponsor him and tata he will say to our manager and leave India for ever with his girlfriend. He has too many brothers and their parents will be taken care of.


Mr De and Mr Mukherjee are talking about the sad state of affairs of Kolkata, half the day they spend on how to get Kolkata developed, They really are in to development and not testing I say.


Mr Bhadreswaran is tired of seeing his friends going abroad on onsite opportunities and also his CTC, he thinks he deserves to save more and that the guys he used to teach maths in school and college are now abroad earning and saving and coming back to India to show off, whereas he could not afford one nights stay in a five star within India.

He has started to preach philosophy nowadays. He cannot leave this job since he believes that staying in one place will land you a better package and a lot of experience. He has started to know each and every square inch of the office carpet. Even the security guys have all changed since his arrival. The other day one security guy stopped him and asked for his id card and boy that was one scene that we all will remember .


Finally, there are some software engineers who are in the IT department, who think boozing everyday makes them cool, and they know all the pubs in the town and they come and tell us of the horrors of all these pubs which have become gay hangouts since no girls visit those, and how the one where no stags allowed make them feel like stray dogs.

These guys think that there lives are pretty happening and we all yearn for them to include us once in a while, “Sorry not yappening, there is not just time for it all. “



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