Being a father ????

One of our colleagues, actually some one with whom I  started  my career sent a nice mail announcing that he has become a father now. Great news

I congratulated him

 

All my heartfelt feelings for him, but I am not somehow able to understand, that a man when he changes to become a father, what all does he go through, is it completely

exhausting, is it great,

 

Personally having  been a guiding light for my sister, and almost an one man army for my family , I find the circumstances in which I might have to live in a world without this responsibilities , a little bit weird and non practical

 

May be that is why I cannot take a guy who is still non independent, as a serious man. I can only have a joke or two , but in the long term he is a empty vessel to me. Why is it that I have started to generalize, mostly I am generalizing myself now, by writing something that I may not be completely agreeing upon  if I put my thoughts to it

 

I find this habit of quick thinking a lot of stuff but not going into it in depth an inherent trait , I instinctively acquired from my parents, both equally gifted and at times, can do the hard work, but both are short sighted, One lives in a dreamers world and the other , survives on those dreams.

 

Being a parent to them I feel I have had to be strong, strict and hard upon myself at times, All I think can solve this problems may be, is money ,

There lies so many thing beyond my understanding may be, and one of that is

 

“Hope hope, and hope that yes, may be the good times are around the corner, it happened to many, but we seldom think about the millions who spend their days, languishing later on , on misplaced time, wasted youths,

 

May be that is why I work, to kill this youth with volumes of work, but may be it is not going to be of any use, may be it will all go in vain, and in the end , that feeling of numbness will pull me down to the miseries that so many men before me has gone,

 

the misery of understanding, that nothing is in your control.  Thos high flying  ideas are nothing but the future torture chambers, and as yes always the past times will look better, may be that sequoia prints our minds, look golden, may be the those color faded photos are just measures to feel nice, since I can typically say that I was not that happy then as I some how assume that I was !!!”